Monday, February 14, 2011

WHERE have you been MISSY?

Total hiatus!
But jeez, where have we been?  Snowed in? Living life? Working? Relaxing? Taking a break from crazy time? Gym? Tanning? Laundry? Something along those lines....

And maybe a little bit of this....

Getting kicked out of the bar at midnight for puking, just outside the entrance, directly in front of the bouncer. Jeez at least go around the corner or spend some QT in the bathroom.  Sadly, like my drunk txting/dialing, my puking knows no boundaries.  Anyway.

Staying up late pranking people.

Dogging out on the couch, ordering multiple meals, watching deadly women marathons with the blinds drawn, and pranking people mid afternoon just for someone to talk to.

Maybe we need to re-define pranking (more on that later).

Forming texting relationships with virtual strangers: ie, a certain pharmaceutical sales rep.

Getting in arguments with potential suitors just for the sake of an argument.  'I wish I never met you.'

Setting up dates with internet strangers only to break them in your own mind, but not tell the date until the day of.

Blacking out on the final football Sunday Funday's of the year and making out with a boy dressed as a gecko.  It isn't halloween, no need to act like it is...especially on a Sunday!

Christmas and New Years celebrations occurred somewhere in there and we spent time with family (can you believe they can stand us?).

Finally, we defintely weren't inviting strangers from the internet over at 1 am, only to have them come in to be accosted about eveything and anything possible.  Totally didn't show them their FB profile, even though we didn't technically didn't know their last name (found out who they were thru our keen detective skills).  When you open your computer there's porn up on it.  Showed them your new nook, slippers, or cutting board in the shape of the state of NJ.  Tell them of all your prejudices.  Harass them about their pending divorce.  Watch Jersey Shore on loop (the episode where Deena gets called out for licking asshole, no less) leading to very interesting and inappropriate admissions and debates.  And finally, turn on the Hoarders episode that showcased the guy with thousands of rats.  That's a strangers cue to leave.

If you're looking to scare someone into never talking to you again, totally give us a call!

xoxo

Stupidest 'Holiday' Ever

And not just saying that because we're single...

It's amazing the excitement and importance people put into this Hallmark holdiay.

Guess what I LOVE my friends, boys, family, pets, & strangers I've developed a slight obsessions with ALL year round.  I constantly have candy in my apartment.  And I drink on days I shouldn't.  And I skip the gym sometimes.  Oh and I even go out to dinner!  Can you believe it?

BOOYA Valentines Day.

I LOVE IT ALL YEAR!