Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Take note boys...

I don't ever want to see you in the following shoes:



I know Nelly or whoever that was made Air Force Ones seem really cool, but these are just plain awful and look like giant white boats.  All I can concentrate on are how bad these are when you're fist pumping around me and it distracts me from my own hot dance moves and drinking.  Whites can be done, but try converse or lacoste and if you're feet are too big, just bypass them all together.
          

I'd say I own more shoes with a heel flatter than these, than those taller.  Also, they are way, too pointy!  Completely unacceptable.  Finally, where do you're toes end in these?  You're a 5'7" guido, you're feet aint' that big.

I have seen more than one grown man in these shoes in the past few years.  I don't care if the Preppy Handbook says they are a must with your seersucker pants, pleated khaki shorts, or navy blue suit; you look even douchier than the guidos.  They're awful and meant for children (or catholic school girls, I had a rotten pair of these back in the day, I'm surprised they didn't walk out of my locker on their own).  Don't do it.


Another guido classic.  A male actually left these in our beach house this summer.  Smart move for him, hopefully he wisened up and got something a lot less horrific.  Just buy flip flops or even tevas, there's no need for mandals, ever.

There are lots of cute, acceptable shoes out there boys.  Use your brains and get them.  Or ask a platonic girlfriend (or current fuck buddy) to help you pick out ones that don't suck.  If you actually found someone to date you than by all means USE her for such things, not just blow jobs.

xoxoxo

No comments:

Post a Comment